I’ve agreed to work four hours a day, not because I want to, but because I need the money. In reality, I’ve been working around 5 hours a day for the last month, but I’ve been unwilling to increase my hours because I feared it was not a commitment I could keep. I have good days and bad, and sometimes work is the last thing I feel like doing.
I’ve been told by people both inside work and out of it that I take it too seriously. It’s the habit of a lifetime that I’m honest and diligent. I believe in earning what I’m being paid – never mind that work has mucked me around. That’s for them to answer to.
Because I’m on reduced hours I’ve thought my work has to be pure – if I’m being paid for three hours, for example, then I work for three hours without distraction or interruption. It’s silly, because back in the office I’ve never worked a ‘pure’ 8 hours. There’s always someone to chat to about the footy or what they did on the weekend, time taken getting a coffee or browsing the internet, and so on. And, I figure, that’s okay. Somehow, I hadn’t extended myself that same licence working at home and recovering from cancer. Not that I’ve changed my ways – yet.
I’ve found my groove surprisingly quickly and feel satisfied that I’m adding a lot of value in the time I give. It’s probably helped that I’ve found and had to fix a lot of gaps in the project they were working on. I have to be careful to step away. By inclination I’ll always look to assume control, but that’s not my place now. I do my thing, I say my piece, and step away. I guide much more than do.
Regardless of the minor satisfaction that work occasionally provides, I’ve pretty well accepted I don’t like the place. The treatment of me plays a big part in that, but so too does the kind of revision that near-death forces upon you. I may feel this way about any place – so much of it seems trivial and hyperbolic to me now. Everything passes, and this weeks drama is forgotten next week. I’m not sure if that’s a perspective that would be welcomed.
With that said, this weeks drama is giving me the shits. How is it possible that you can overlook the stakeholders when you’re running a project? I’m griping, as this one of the things I’m having to rectify. But surely it’s PM 101 that managing expectations and keeping stakeholders happy is a priority?