In the tube

I had an MRI today. It’s not the first MRI I’ve had, but it felt different from before. I think part of that is perception going into it. The last time it felt pretty innocuous. They were checking for something not too serious, which I was sure wasn’t an issue in any case – and I was right. Last time it was a bit of a novelty. This time it seemed a lot more solemn.

This time, it was in a hospital, which always adds an edge of atmosphere – the sterile, echoey corridors and sense of huge medical infrastructure. This time I was feeling crook too, and there felt a lot more riding on the test results, and I was a lot less confident.

I don’t recall last time being injected with a dye, but perhaps it happened. Last time it was a lot quicker. I was slid into the chamber, it whirred and spun, and then I was slid out again. This time I was fixed in place with a face covering and heavy-duty earplugs. This time I was in there for about 15 minutes, I reckon, though time is somewhat displaced in something like that. This time, there were also sorts of mechanical noises at different pitches – the sort of sounds, I thought as I lay there, that would make excellent special FX for some deepspace sci-fi film. And the sort of setup generally that leaves you in no doubt that something is amiss with you.

It seemed a bit odd at the end of it to dress and walk out the building and catch a train home.

I get the results of the MRI on Wednesday, when I’ll be journeying into the city again.

In the meantime, I’ve survived another 24 hours, though it wasn’t easy. At about 6pm last night, I lost power to all the important things in the house. I had lights, but no heating, TV, internet, fridge, oven, and so on. It was bloody cold, too. I called the Cheeses to check if they’d mind me visiting, but they were out. I walked up the road instead and had dinner at the local Thai. When I got home, with no alternative, I went to bed.

For some reason, I chose not to take my 12-hour tablet last night. I didn’t wake in pain in the middle of the night, but it was a rugged sort of sleep.

I must have had lights out by 9pm. I slept intermittently for a while, then had dreams in Cinerama the whole night through. Too many dreams to be restful and with a hallucinogenic edge to them. When I woke about 8am this morning, I was hurting. I took a tablet then and back to bed. There was no power still, and it was icy.

I was in a bad way and got up at about 10 and fixed myself a hot chocolate and a double dose of Neurofen, be damned! An electrician arrived at about midday and rigged up a temporary solution. I was on my way to the hospital by 12.30.

I feel better now – the pain is more distant, but I’m fuzzy with it. I talked to my manager for about 20 minutes about work stuff, and it tired me out. I feel very languid, which is preferable to feeling in pain.

My overall disposition is positive. I’m sure the outcome on Wednesday will be benign. As I lay in bed last night, I could feel the mucus flow and block my sinus. It was uncomfortable and unpleasant, and I had to breathe through my mouth. My theory is that it has become trapped under my cheek and not some cancerous growth. It seems to make sense and fits my symptoms. Hopefully, that means that surgery can be booked, and I’ll be back to normal by the end of the month.

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