False economies

I looked in the mirror this morning and thought I looked 10 years older than I did a year ago. Obviously, it’s been a tough year, but there’s a bit of catching up in that, too – I still look a few years younger than my true age. I’m much greyer than I used to be, though, and that makes a difference. Combine it with a few days of not shaving,, and there’s a rugged, prickly look to me, albeit the bristle is mostly grey also. This time, I thought, I look like a polar explorer, a Scandinavian – a Nansen or an Amundsen, fair complexioned and austere.

I went out for morning tea, trying to vary things up. I went to the local cafe where the glam people go – ironically, most of the staff look like they’d rather be out surfing. I had a flat white and a friend and watched the comings and going around me. On the way back, I stopped at a dentist.

If it’s been a tough year, then there’s much ado about my health. I spent an extra 90 minutes in bed yesterday morning trying to restore some energy to my body. When I was up and about, I sent an email to my boss telling him I would put my health first for a change. That meant I would sleep in when I need to, would lie down if I was feeling unwell, and would take the sick days that otherwise,, I’ve been working through.

I’m no better than when I last reported, though it’s a day to day proposition, and medication makes a difference.

I’m booked in to see an endocrinologist next month. The cost associated with that isn’t helping me feel better, but I think it’s long overdue – it was recommended by a specialist 18 months ago. I’m hoping they can find something, though what I really need is some decent rest and time away from things.

Then there’s the dentist. About a fortnight ago, I started to get pain in my right upper gum at the back. At the time, I also experienced some sinus pain and thought it might be related to that. I took some antibiotics, and both the sinus and the gum pain went away, except that as of a few days ago, the pain in the gum had returned.

Who likes dentists? Nah, not me either. I saw one about 2 years ago. He gave me a filling and recommended the other I’d need doing, including a crown. Because I couldn’t afford any of that, I never went back.

These are false economies. I can’t put things off because they’ll come back, and they’ll come back worse. Half my problems now are that I’ve taken shortcuts.

I’ve booked the dentist and accepted that I’ll be out of pocket a bit and thousands if I get a crown. Likewise, the specialist will set me back also. It brings tears to my eyes, especially when I was hoping to go away for a few days. And it makes me bitter because if I was being paid what I deserve, none of this would be a concern – in fact, some of it might never have happened.

As they say, shit happens. A friend has offered a line of credit to me, and this time I’ve accepted it. Get my health right first, then I can think about my finances.

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