One of my aims this holiday period is to recharge my batteries. There have been times this year I’ve felt very weary, both in mind and body. It’s no real surprise I feel fatigued. I haven’t had a real break for years. The best I’ve done is a week here or there when I don’t stray from home. And, besides everything else, there’s been the ongoing struggle, which is wearing in itself.
I’ve had a pretty lazy time since Christmas. I had to do things leading into it – people to see, things to do, a book to write. For the last few days, I’ve taken it down a notch. Yesterday I watched the cricket all day sitting on the couch. I managed to scan a whole heap of old photos to my Google albums while doing that. I’ve been reading in-between times, and going to bed early, and eating more sensibly. It’s all good, except I feel crap.
The fact is I’m sleeping poorly. The quality of my sleep is down, and I seem incapable of sleeping in – no matter that I have all the time in the world. To make things worse, I’m waking up aching and sore. My right shoulder is a knot of tender muscle, and my hip is so twisted that I can barely walk straight. I think the verdict is I need a new bed. One day. In the meantime, maybe a massage.
It’s pretty normal at this time of year to reflect on where you’ve been and to look ahead to where you want to get to. That’s me, too. I’ve got a bunch of headline aspirations, but it’s all subject to my state of mind.
The thing is, it’s hard to get too adventurous when you’re feeling crap, and it’s time I did something about it. Time isn’t an issue – I’ve got about seven weeks of annual leave clocked up – but money is. The reason I’ve got so much leave is that I didn’t want to waste it doing nothing, so I never took it. One day, I would think, when I have money again, I can take a proper holiday.
There’s merit in the idea, except I may never get to go on holiday again at this rate. At the same time, there’s a serious discount on the benefit when all you do on your time off is lounge around the house. Particularly when it’s this house.
This is the conundrum. I’ve soldiered on and got a lot done just by hanging in there, but I don’t think I can take it much further until body and mind are refreshed. But how?
I still have another week off and it may be I ease into to it better than I’ve done thus far. Otherwise, I’m actually thinking about going back to work early, just so I don’t waste the days.
I’ll worry about all the other things I want to get done when I feel better. All I have right now to make myself better are good habits and attitude. To that extent, I’m further refining my diet – more veggies – and cutting down on the booze. And get some regular exercise in the mix. These are things I can do – and so it’s salad for the next few days (once the Christmas leftovers are gone!).