Busy being

I’ve had a busy and productive week at work, which accounts for my inactivity here. It’s been full-on, but I’ve enjoyed it. As they say in the vernacular, I kicked a few goals this week.

One of the reservations I have about the role I’m in is wondering what I’ll do when I’m finished with all the process improvement and innovation. There’s a fair bit of that to be done, which is a large part of the appeal. I’ve been given a free pass to get it done, and that’s a big plus as well. I started on this a way back and made good progress, but this week implemented a couple of things that were highly visible and potentially will make a significant difference to the segment of the business I’m in. This is good, and there’s a lot more to be done, but in 3 months when I’ve ticked off the big-ticket items, what then?

The obvious answer is I’ll worry about that when the time comes, but I know I’m not the sort to happily maintain the status quo. And that’s not how you want to use me either if you’re smart. I’m really good at the innovation stuff because I have imagination, experience and a big-picture perspective – it’s all about connections and integration and synchronisation. I’m unafraid too, and that counts because you’ve got to be bold to carry these things off. What I’m not so good at is sitting in the corner watching it tick over while I twiddle my thumbs.

It’s funny. In my experience, most people are the opposite, but I get bored if things aren’t moving and changing. But – I’ll worry about that later.

For now, I’ve been flat out doing things and reckon this week past is probably the most productive week I’ve had for years. It’s exhausting in a way, but in a way that you’re happy to be exhausted. And, besides the fully anticipated resistance of the office Luddites, was very well received – lauded, even.

It’s been important – I think – in shoring up my position. The new manager has come in, and we’ve met now and had some overlapping stuff, and out of it, I think he’s come to trust me. That’s the first hurdle cleared. He may even like me – I’m certainly different from all the marketing people he deals with. It means that those who were looking to muscle into my area have been dropped by him. I think in this I probably got support from those outside the area I’ve worked with, including the vendor.

The question remains what I want out of this. I may not get a huge say in how that plays out – in recent experience what I want and what I can get are very different things. But I think I’m gaining more leverage now, both at work and in general. In my new role, I’m more exposed to important decision-makers and wield more influence, and out in the world I can point to a few more strings to my bow.

I say I want nothing to do with really pushing it anymore, and it’s true. The job matters less than the work, and at the end of the day I want to walk away from it and let it be somebody else’s problem. But then, I can’t stop doing things, and one thing leads to another, and I’ll always want to make it better and shinier and, regardless of what I say, get possessive of it. I don’t want it fucked up, and the best way to guarantee that is to do it myself – and push comes to shove I’ve got the muscle to hold my ground and even forge a path. I enjoy that, too – the rough and tumble have never bothered me. And I end up in that position, and I look around and no, no, no, I think, let someone else take the responsibility, but this is my place, and this is what I can do, and ultimately, I want everyone to know it. And I want the money to go with it.

Figure that one out, Sherlock. Or is Jung?

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