Just a quick note regarding my post on Saturday. It’s now Monday and I’m back at work. I have to be pragmatic about the situation with the girl here. I can’t undo what happened before, and at this point I can’t even apologise as I’d like to.
I have to be patient and look to mend those broken bridges. For me it means being present and friendly and attentive. I won’t push it too hard, but I want to become a consistent part of her life. I want her to know I’m here.
On Thursday last week I was able to draw her out a little with some bantering emails. She was hesitant, but she responded. We went back and forwards maybe eight times all up with me teasing and witty and she gently joining the party. It ended only when a piece of news intruded on the conversation she didn’t know how to respond to (that I might be leaving by months end), though no response in itself is very much a response.
I think this is the best way to go. Don’t push too hard. Don’t ask too much. Keep it light as much as possible, but don’t be afraid of the real stuff if the occasion warrants it. I am by nature impatient, but must play the long game – she likes me, she just has to learn to trust me again. That can only be if I’m consistent and reliable and fun to be with. I will try and do what I advise others: leave them wanting more.
This marks a change, but it is a natural one. Before I would do so much and wait for her to respond. That was before I understood and though I’m fine, I have something to make-up. That’s okay, and in fact I find myself feeling warm inside wanting to do the right thing by her. What happens between me and her is important, but secondary to making her feel safe and earning back her trust. I want to do the right thing and that feels good.