I took a holiday last week from concerning myself with A, the girl I like at work. I was busy as always and she was training all week regardless and I in truth I was probably a little weary of the routine we rinse and repeat time and again. We were at the stage of the cycle where she opens up to me and I anticipated it. Sure enough, that’s what happened, and though I was glad of it I was also a tad jaded at the predictability.
In fact, despite being busy training, she made bright efforts every day bar one. Fine, I thought, and let it go.
I had the curious sense that though I thought no less of her my romantic interest was waning. I liked her, I just didn’t have the same feeling or sense of hope. Perhaps it had dragged on too long. I set that aside too, knowing that likely it would take very little to re-ignite my interest – which, on balance, I hoped for.
I saw her perhaps twice last week and briefly each time, but found her in my mind as I went to bed last night. I imagined her at home, wondering what she might be getting up to and thinking that if she wasn’t in bed already she was probably on her way. It was kind of cute.
As I slept and woke she came back to me. Like most men I’m sure I indulge myself from time to time picturing what the attractive woman over yonder looks like without her clothes. I’m pretty good at it having a naturally vivid imagination, plus real life experience to boot. Of course I’d done that with A also, but found I could never quite manage it convincingly. Sure, I could imagine this or that but it never quite hung together. I would wonder what it meant when I could conjure up the naked bods of other women so much easier. There were times when I took it as a negative, as if it was my sub-conscious sending me a message.
Last night I could picture her, but the erotic edge of a naked body was stripped from it. Rather the sense was of a casual and comfortable intimacy, very much in a domestic setting – the glimpses of naked body you catch when someone gets out of the shower or changes for bed, an unmentioned, low-key sharing of moments as she pulls a dress up over her head, or putting knickers on as we discuss by the by the plans for the day ahead, or a dream overnight.
I don’t know but it felt warm and real. This morning getting into work I reserved judgement on what I would do next. Our first encounter would bear strongly on that. As it happened she visited mid-morning as I was yarning with my offsider. She went about meeting with different people. She would have known I was in good spirits. I’m certainly the laconic type, but I also have a big laugh when it comes, and this morning it came. Eventually she turned to us, teasing how we seemed to be having too much fun. I liked her.
Just now I’ve returned from a meeting on her floor. On the way back I sat on the edge of her desk and we chatted for 5 minutes teasing again and her smile was happy and I felt it too.
I’m hoping we’ve moved beyond the looping stages. I suspect she knows that I am more than that now, and I hope she understands that she too can be. Time will tell, though I’m not sure yet how we play it out. Guess I’ll find out.