Hollywood here I come

If nothing else my life has been rarely boring, and if it’s following a script it’s been written by some deranged and creative genius with a flair for the unlikely. Here’s the latest unlikely chapter in the tale of H.

About a month before Christmas I met a very interesting woman from Bulgaria. By profession a movie producer she had a warm, vibrant personality full of superlatives and much of expressed in caps. She took to me right away. I was an extraordinary man she said, then a genius. I was happy to wear her compliments, glad that someone had finally recognised my unique gifts. At the same time I recognised that while the sentiment was lovely, it was more a movie producer’s hyperbole than it was truth. I couldn’t help but liking her though. I found her a fascinating, fun and generous person.

We’ve kept in touch and on the weekend she contacted me again to inquire about the book I’ve been writing. I’ve not written about it in recent times, but I’m still working hard at it and bringing it up to a standard I would be happy with (unattainable, but let’s pretend it is). As it happens I finished the 3rd draft on Sunday, and told her so.

What happens now she asked me? Hmm, good question was my initial thought, before knowing of course I would get onto the 4th draft within not too long. The other option I told her was to get a professional editor look over it. Gotta happen sometime. As an off the cuff remark I said maybe she would like to make a movie of it.

She came back at me like a shot. She’s read hundreds of scripts in her lifetime she said and would be happy to look at my book for no charge. She would make notes and prepare a screen treatment. I should have known she would say something like that – completely in character – but after thinking about a moment or two figured I had little to lose and sent it off.

She has taken to it with relish. I’m getting a constant stream of positive feedback (“AMAZING”), and requests to complete a character list, which I’ve now done.

I don’t know quite what to make of all this, but it’s sort of nice while still being very strange. For what it’s worth I think it’s a great story, my only query being the execution of it – but predictably she has praised my writing style, which she “loves”.

Who knows, maybe I could get a movie made of it? The only stipulation I’ve given her is that whatever happens I don’t want Steven Seagal appearing in it (he’s one of the actors she’s worked with before). In the meantime I’ve had another acquaintance refer me to a movie producer in Sydney, so clearly the moons are aligning in a very particular and strange way.

I don’t much care who makes it. I just fancy an Oscar.

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