Strange, isn’t it, I finally get online and sitting in front of my Mac and I feel as if I’ve got nothing to say?
I’ve been offline for roughly 7 weeks, which in the online world is an absolute, fucking age. I’ve missed it. I’ve chafed at the lack of it, and ranted when the occasion warranted it to get things moving on. Coming on Friday to find I had a connection to the net was both a relief, and sort of exciting. I spent some time playing with it again, and catching up on all that I’ve missed.
One of the things I’ve missed is this – as have others, if my messages are anything to go by. It’s Sunday now though, and it’s only now I’m sitting down to write anything – because I must, I think, because there is an obligation, isn’t there? And yet I sit here and all I can think of writing about is the experience of finally sitting here again – and nothing about the many things that happened when I was offline. I’m inclined to let that go. Let it be a blank spot, and I can’t be bothered besides.
I suspect I’ve got out of the habit – not just physically, sitting here, but mentally. I’d go about my life and things would happen and I would think, I might write about that. When the seed planted it would sub-consciously grow, thoughts and words accreting ready to be drawn upon when I got sitting down here again.
Because there has been no real possibility of writing my thoughts have re-shaped. Habits fell away, and in their place others came. I’m pretty sure it won’t be long before it changes back, but I’m happy to let it happen at its own pace.
One thing I will say is that a benefit of this has been my writing. I don’t need an internet connection to write, and with my mind freed up there’s been more space for creative thoughts to flourish. The result of this is that my book – much interrupted by the move, and the lead-up to it – was finally finished.
Finished is a relative term. It needs a cut and polish. There are things I know I want to change. We’re about 90% of the way there, and think much of the last 10% is already in my head.
I’ve begun making inquiries, and have come up with a list of agents and publishers to approach. The focus has been to tidy up the first three chapters of the book and send them off into the literary world for appraisal. I began on that straight after writing the final word of the last chapter. I was enthused.
It feels easy now, and relatively straight-forward. I’ve sailed through the first two chapters, cutting a lot and making it more direct in general, while attending to the voice and mood. I know how it should be and the direction seems clear.
It may not remain so, but I hope to finish off chapter 3 today, and get the whole lot sent out next week. That’s my news.