Cold & offline

I’m sitting here in the back room of my new abode, in what has become my study. I’ve got a small heater warming my feet, but until then I was sitting here with my breath misting in front of my face. We’re having a bunch of cold weather at the moment, made worse unfortunately by the fact that this place has shithouse heating.

The only heating/cooling in the place is the very smallest reverse cycle air-con. I don’t know what its like at cooling, but it does fuck all heating. Every night I come home from work and don layers just to keep warm. For the first time in many years I dug out my old electric blanket and put it on the bed. It took me back to my childhood, when on a winter’s night I would get into a bed made toasty by an electric blanket pre-heating it. It’s much the same now, quickly disrobing before clamouring between the sheets.

It’s hard work next morning. It’s cold in the front part of the house, but in the back half – where the bathroom is – it’s polar. They might be some damp in the place too, though I can’t feel it. Wet towels never dry, and the sugar in its bowl clumps. I’ve definitely got my eye on an oil heater, even if I can’t afford it. I’d be happy if only I could get warm.

I still don’t have internet. For the weekend I fork out a few dollars for a few Gb of wi-fi that gets used up pretty fast. I really miss my internet. I lead a very connected lifestyle, and until I get it plugged in again about 40% of my home life is off the table.

There’s a technician coming Thursday to hook me up. I’ll be taking time off with permission to let him in. I did the right thing and applied for leave, and was rejected. I modified my request and was rejected again. They knew why I wanted time off, but still wouldn’t allow it. It felt like a battle of wills. That kind of contest is a red rag to me. I can’t back down. Silly as it is I dig my heels in out of sheer pigheadedness. I like to think I’m a reasonable guy, and fair to those fair to me. Flip that over though and if you do the wrong thing by me I won’t let it go.

It feels like they’re trying to impose their rules on me. I don’t like rules full stop, and hate being imposed upon. The danger is that I cut off my nose to spite my face. I don’t lose much when it comes to a battle of wills, but sometimes winning a battle means you lose the war. I can be silly and stubborn like that, but it’s just not in me to step down.

As it stands I’ve had the last word. I’ve tried to make it as simple and easy as possible, offering to make up the time, but making it clear I won’t be acceding to them. They haven’t responded.

Fact is if I don’t get it done this Thursday it’ll likely be another 3 weeks until they can get by next. I can’t wait that long. I think my request is reasonable, and their reluctance to grant me the morning off is just another reason I want out.

I spent some of my precious internet allowance this morning applying for jobs and sending messages to my network. I have to get out. I just have too much right now that goes nowhere. I want to be used up again.

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