I’m starting to chafe in my job. This is regrettable. I’m flying solo now, and while I’m not an expert I’m getting by without issue, and learning more all the time. That’s good. What’s not so good is the repetitive nature of the job. I come to work and it feels like Groundhog Day again.
I figure that’s the nature of many, and possibly most jobs, though to varying degrees of complexity. Most jobs are at different stages of a process. Most processes are repetitive. The process is initiated, executed and completed – and repeated again, and again. At each stage of it we perform our own small part in the process before it continues up the line.
My role is different now in that the process I’m part of hangs off of a broader process. Customers buy products, they sell and install. Prior to, during, and often after, they’ll have questions and queries about that process. That’s where I come in. I’ll pick up the phone, answer a question, or, occasionally, pass it on. The phone disconnects, then rings again and I do it all again, 30-50 times a day, today, tomorrow, and the next. It’s a necessary service, but it’s very much a disposable service.
There’s little to tell one day from the next. I get variations on the same questions, and a new question piques my curiosity. There’s still novelty in the role, but on the wane.
I’m a creative type. It’s how I think and how I view the world. That’s in general, but it certainly extends into the creative sphere. Most of my roles have been outside of the process, or within the freelance realms of it. My roles have been discretionary – analysing, assessing, designing and creating. I’ve been required to bend my mind, and often to use my imagination. That’s come easily to me, which is why I’ve been in such roles. It’s why it’s more difficult now, where there is no imagination required, and nothing remotely creative.
I’m not being churlish. You can control what you think, but it’s lot harder to manage what you feel. If I feel it I’ll examine it, and seek to make sense of it. That explains a big portion of this blog.
I accept it for now. It’s necessary. I want to do more, but have to be patient – but it doesn’t stop me from chafing at the bit. I want to do what I’m capable of doing.