I’m dressed for the day. A dark blue shirt and a grey, slim-fit suit jacket. Dark jeans and suede boots. In a moment I’ll head off for the days festivities. I’m off the JV’s buck’s day – to the Yarra Valley races by limo first, then dinner in the city afterwards. What happens after that is anyone’s guess.

It’s not a bad day for it. Not too warm – forecast is for a top of 22C – and a little cloudy. Don’t want to be standing out in the hot sun drinking too much beer. I’m geared up for the day, looking forward to it. Seems a rare occasion these days that we get together to let our hair down so freely. This is one of the few occasions that you have a leave pass to make an arse of yourself. I don’t plan to do that, but I’m glad of the option.

I won’t know most attending. Cheeseboy is coming – he knows JV through me – and so to is Whisky. Many years ago the three of us worked together – JV, Whisky, and me. We’ve all gone our separate ways since, but remained friends too. I may know only a few today, but they’re three of my best four friends in the world. It’ll be fun.

The wedding is in 3 weeks. I’m in the wedding party, have been fitted up for the suit, and ready to go I think. I look forward to that too, but all of it, today included, has a different tinge to it.

Like it or not part of me feels held back. That’s my circumstances, which crimp both my lifestyle and my outlook. It embarrasses me, and so I step back a little, affable still, hopefully still fun, but not as prominent as I might be otherwise because I don’t have the resources to back it up.

That’s is at it is. I think it will change soon. And I’m hopeful that come the wedding I’ll be back to where I belong. Hope so – look out bridesmaids.

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