Undimmed

Pretty crook the last couple of days. Probably the crookest I’ve felt for many years. I think I’ve been lucky over the journey. I’ve had my ailments here and there, and some of them quite irregular, but I suspect I’ve had many fewer serious infections and flu’ than the average Joe. By my reckoning it’s probably only 3-4 times that I’ve ever been anything more than inconvenienced by an episode. When it does happen though it’s pretty bad.

The worst was the night I wrote. I went from feeling cold to a raging fever. I’d alternate between them while the aches and pains remained constant without. If I remained still I had the fever. If I moved about I got shaky, but then a cold flush would come over me and it was preferable being cold to hot. That night the fever peaked at about 3am when I lay there bathed in perspiration. Then a cold flush arrived and the worst of the fever broke.

I woke up yesterday feeling a deal better. I still had a fever, but much less. I ached still, but not as keenly as before.

I didn’t have a busy day, but there were things I had to do. Predictably as the day went on I felt progressively worse. By mid-afternoon the aches and pains were back proper and the fever gone up a notch. Like that you can’t be bothered doing anything. I lay on the couch not wanting to move, but I couldn’t read and had no interest in the TV. When you’re sick things grey out. You have no semblance of energy, not even enough to think.

Today I’m just about fine. I’d rate myself at about 90%. That’s fortunate because I had a seminar first thing this morning at the Microsoft offices. I soon discovered what a difference a day makes. During a break in the seminar I was schmoozing with some of the other guests there. I found my groove again and settled into it (it always surprises me how good I am at that stuff). The synapses snap, words come to your lips. It’s always invigorating.

This afternoon I returned with my brain buzzing with ideas. Yesterday it was a vacuum. In an hour I sent off 4 work related emails, and in my mind had progressed a paper I was writing. I felt dynamic. Maybe some of it was stored up energy, but most of it was pretty standard. It makes you realise how much illness dims you. It’s bad enough being sick, but horrifying to consider the detrimental effect it has upon the person you are.

I was sick for a bit over 24 hours, fuck all in the scheme of things, but it’s a handy reminder to look after your health. If you don’t have your health your health it doesn’t matter what you have.

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