Don’t you love it in the movies how everything is a cliffhanger, how everything is desperate and seemingly doomed until the very last moment, just seconds left on the timer when the bomb is defused. It never happens with a comfortable amount time spare; but nor does it ever go off. You know the hero is going to save the day.
Even Masterchef is like that. Every challenge they get there’s a set amount of time to do it in. Never once in my viewing has anyone finished with 5 minutes to spare and set about tidying up the kitchen. Nup, every episode there’s a mad scramble as the clock ticks down to zero to get their special concoction plated up – without exception. Funny thing is, it’s rare that someone fails to get it done in time. That’s TV.
Life isn’t really like that I think, but here I am in my own race against time. Today is pretty well it. The clock is ticking. I have candidates, but will they come to the party on time?
Unlike the movies and TV in life sometimes the bomb blows up in your face. I’m handcuffed to the bomb. I hear it ticking ever louder. If it blows up I go up with it, and the pity of it is there’s no amount of defusing I can do to avoid the mess. I’m stuck and waiting for someone to come along and snip the right wire, just in time.
Fucked if I know. I’d like to claim all of this makes for nerves of steel, but in truth my nerves are fraying – too much for too long. I once had a girl admiringly say I had big balls (figuratively speaking), but right now I feel them retracting – the idea of flying shrapnel will do that to you.
Why does it have to be this way? Why can’t we have a healthy margin of time – everything satisfactorily settled well before the 2 minute warning goes off? Why can’t just fall into place? Maybe I’m in my own Truman show and don’t know it.
Nothing more to say or do – just wait, and hope for the Hollywood ending.