I’m not in love

It seems timely to report in on my recent dating escapades, albeit with the usual caveats, that (a) much as I’d like to I’m not in position to get serious with anyone, and (b)…actually, what was b?

It’s timely not only because I’ve passed comment about the appropriateness of having sex with women older than 42, but because I actually got a dating request yesterday from a woman about 44 – and very fuckable she is too.

Regular readers might recall how a month or so ago I met a woman at a party. She piqued my interest in a number of pleasant ways. I got in touch with her after and we corresponded a bit flirtatiously before she took herself off to Nepal, where she was running some kind of art workshop.

She got back about 10 days ago and I asked myself at the time, do I contact her again, or not? I hadn’t really got around to making up my mind when yesterday afternoon my phone pinged and it was her, following me up on a previous notion of catching up. As it happened she was more than happy to meet last night – which unfortunately I wasn’t able to do. All the same we spent several hours sending fond little texts to each other.

Regardless of what Esquire writers think she is one very sexy lady. I think the vernacular is ‘hot’. She’s an attractive woman with a great body. She also happens to be an interesting, intelligent woman, with a perspective just a bit different from most people. I like that.

I know it’s not the sort of thing I should make reference to on a family friendly blog like this, but I remember on the night as I talked to her I had a recurring desire to take her to her home in Brunswick and indulge in a delicious bout of oral sex with her. She had, I imagined – vividly – a very pretty quim.

Now we were flirting again and some of the same feelings returned to me. I like her. She’s actually someone I think I could like a lot. And I suspect I’m that person for her. It’s just that when I contemplated her before she didn’t fit into the desired demographic. Sure I want someone younger, but mostly because I want to have the children this lady already has.

Next week I see her, and I suspect sex is a strong option.

My social life is pretty dim these days, and my dating activities pretty sporadic, and mostly to the point.

Beside the unsolicited contacts there have been a few other interesting women about.

One was an Irish masseuse of about 30 with truly excellent breasts, and the Irish attitude to match.

I also got friendly with a waitress. I have a long history with waitresses and barmaids, and in more recent years, sassy baristas. Generally lots of fun the lot of them, and possessing an independent mind, which is pretty sexy.

This waitress is of the more alternative ilk, mid-thirties, petite of frame, long hair that has been shaved on one side of her head – it looks better than it describes. She had a way of walking I liked, and big, blue expressive eyes and as I noticed her she noticed me noticing her and liked it and got friendly.

She’s a woman I felt torn by. We talked about music, we both like books, she was someone maybe I’d do more with, but I held back. I can’t do anything, I thought. Not now, not yet, yet I did want to do something, if only to hold her pale breast in my hand – but likely more. She’s still in abeyance. Perhaps if I get the shop sold next week…

For what it’s worth, I’m still very popular online, and in the last few weeks have been able to happily ease some of the built up tension a couple of times.

I don’t know. This is what I need to figure out. I’m not the good catch I used to be, but in some ways I’m in my prime, I look good these days, and have an attitude that comes naturally now which the girls find alluring. I like to play, I like to flirt, I like the titillation of the chase, but I also want to fall in love and stay there. It’s what I need to.

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