Such is nature

Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I slept another 9 hours last night without thinking about it, which is another sign that I’m recovering from some energy deficit. A few weeks back, just after I shifted house, I was sleeping 9-10 hours every night and fading each afternoon. In the weeks preceding I had driven myself as I never have before, by necessity as it was, needing to pack up a very full house and get it shifted while at the same time ministering to all of mum’s needs, visiting her, meeting doctors, taking care of her administrative needs. It was a sustained period of activity like I had never experienced before, both quite physical – I packed about a hundred boxes and was exhausted each night by the effort – and emotional.

In my experience physical exhaustion is easier to recover from than the emotional. Muscles in fact become stronger with exertion, and heal with rest. It’s not so easy with the emotions, particularly as often there is no respite from the cause of their stress. For much of mum’s illness, and particularly in the last 7 weeks, I felt the strange combination of being on perpetual tenterhooks whilst forever treading upon thin ice. Add in my own personal challenges and it was a lot to deal with.

Mum has gone now. It’s a sad eventuality, but it represents a kind of resolution. Whatever was to happen has now happened. The tenterhooks are gone, the ground beneath my feet now solid. There remain challenges, and new ones as well, but by and large it is easier than before. The body, the mind, seeks to heal itself. The adrenalin that sustained me throughout this effort has now leached out of my system. Sleep claims me longer and more readily in order to recharge batteries run down. And so I sleep 9-10 hours a night until such a time I am replenished again.

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