Saw a bit of a movie the other day called Easy A. Actually a surprisingly good movie with a very good cast. The star is Emma Stone, who plays a teenage student who gets herself into all sorts of trouble at school as a bunch of fabricated stories get out and grow legs of their own. She was terrific in it, and her character – smart, witty, ironic – reminded me greatly of Amy.

I was thinking about it before as I walked down the street. The movie recalled Amy to my mind. Today I remembered a bit more. I remember the time I introduced myself to her on her first day. I thought little of it, though was aware that she seemed taken with my effort. I remember how she joked about the newbie getting the filing job. Later when we were closer she was to tell me that soon after that she decided we were going to be best friends.

I’m not sure why these memories make me a little sad. We went beyond friendship, and crashed to ground – but then relationships are hard to get right, and easy to fuck up. That’s what we – primarily me – did then, though it was a complex situation. My sadness, if it is that, is that I missed out on an enduring friendship.

I would love to be friends with her still, to know and to share. It’s funny how friendship between men rarely goes off because they do not have that strain put upon them. It’s different between men and women. We could have been friends, and possibly should have been for a long time to come, it’s just that everything else got in the way. You can’t have too many good friends.

It’s funny. I’m hardly sentimental at all in how I go about things, but deep inside their is a rich vein of sentimentality, if not nostalgia.

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