Dreams continue to surprise me. While some may be purely random, many connect directly with some part of our sub-conscious. It’s as if in our dreams we are often given a perspective on something not available to us when we are conscious. That part withheld is presented to us indirectly, nothing is explicated but rather comes to us in the form of some kind of nocturnal parable. There, in our dreams, we live through strange episodes that though odd, often make a strange kind of sense. How many times in dreams are there thrown up curly questions or situations that seem to have come from left field – but which reveal some truth otherwise hidden from us?
It seems to me the conventional terms – conscious and sub-conscious – do not adequately differentiate the reality between these states of being. They describe merely the state of mind/body, but not the meaning in that difference: knowledge. Consciousness is a state of knowing what you know; in the sub-conscious are revealed the things you weren’t aware of knowing. Seen like this consciousness is a filter to knowledge. We see all, we absorb all, but only when our conscious mind falls away do we know all. Our conscience mind sees only in certain colours of the spectrum, certain aspects; it is in sub-conscious that the full spectrum bursts into amazing and unexpected colour.
I have been going through a period of lively dreaming. It appears to me that I go through alternating phases of dream activity. It may be my conceit but I have come to believe that these more lively phases coincide with those phases of my life when more is happening. I may dream just as often at other times, but the dreams that occur at these busier stages of my life are deeply etched into my mind, and live on after I wake.
Last night I dreamt of the two women who have figured most deeply in my life in recent times.
I dreamt of the earlier one first. The details are sketchy, though it was clear that without anything really intimate occurring in the dream, that we had an intimate understanding of the other. It was low-key, everyday almost, I accepted her in my company as if it were natural. As part of that there was an abiding attraction that tugged at me, and which was in our eyes. Nothing happened, all was simple, but the undercurrents flowed.
The second dream was similar. In this I dreamt of the more recent of the women I have fallen for. Once again the actual details of the dream were low-key, normal, unspectacular. What was revealed was a similar level of understanding and intimacy. The time frame of this dream was different though, which highlighted how entwined our lives were. It was not clear if we were in a relationship or not, but it was obvious in the way our lives synchronised with the other how unthinkingly close we were. We were in step, like dance partners, like people who knew each other well and what to expect. In large part this dream mirrored what the reality had been, though there were small surprises. This dream was more affectionate than the other, and less raw.
So it’s another day and these dreams are in me, reflective of my state of mind. Where it leads nobody knows.