Just been listening to the Killers, doing things, pottering around, the music playing loud as I did those things, as I potted in time to the music. The door to the terrace outside was wide open, I felt a cool breeze that set the candle I had lit flickering against the far wall. The candle was scented, sweet, like candy. I felt juiced up. Their music is good like that, get’s you moving, the slightly mocking undertone of their music gets you happy, no complaints.

Earlier I did some meditation. Now I figure while I may be meditative sometimes I’m not really the meditating kind of bloke, so it felt pretty odd. That’s when I lit the candle. I had some airy, new age sort of music playing – very different to the Killers let me tell you. So the mood was set and off I went.

Let’s face it my mind wandered a few times. I’m not made to sit still and do nothing, not even think: but that’s really why I was doing it. My mind never stops ticking over. There’s always something to wonder at, to ponder, some angle to analyse, a question needing an answer. Enough! So there I was meditating.

I actually did this years ago, early days. I did it with the girl I was with and nearly married but never did; that was later though. At this time it was good still mostly, we went to the Learning Centre or whatever they call it in Burwood road in Hawthorn.

What I remember was wearing loose clothes as instructed (or was that yoga?) and sitting with legs folded in this room with about 8 other people, all women by memory, though it’s possible I’ve wiped the blokes from my mind. So we meditated, the instructor taking us through it bit by bit, the body relaxing until I felt loose and light and very cruisy. Afterwards I remember feeling most impressed not by what I had felt but rather what it had done for my girlfriend.

Back then I was pretty loose in general. I was a feet on the desk sort of guy, too cool for school. She was bright and smart and good, but she never had it as easy as me. I felt like I had the world at my fingertips, and maybe that was one of the things that drew her to me. It was a foreign experience for her though, for reasons I won’t expand on here. And so when I saw her as if her demons were driven from her I was more than impressed, I was moved. And made hopeful.

We went a few more times and then no more. Times have certainly changed. I’m not as young as I was then, and probably not as cruisy. Lot of water, but that’s what I remember. I’ll do it again.

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